Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Randomize
