Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I want her autograph on my taint
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
