Whoa Z and x make the same sound
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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