would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
is that a dick in a sweater?
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
