jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
