Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Randomize