so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
