I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
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