Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
