The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
