Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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