at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
