it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
