Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
