Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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