none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
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