No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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