Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
