he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
