Is it normal to miss your booty call?
You work out of a Hotel?
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
