in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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