You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize
