5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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