you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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