I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
