God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
