sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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