Plan B is the new Plan A
Yo dont text me then not text me
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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