Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
