Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Randomize
