And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
