thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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