if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Girls should come with a carfax report
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Randomize
