you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
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