I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
