Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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