Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
