i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
