WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
