FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
