he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
You need a sexual gate keeper
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Randomize
