I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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