I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Randomize
