It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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