The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
