Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
