im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
