Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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