But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
i think i just naturally attract stoners
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
