Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
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