Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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