You work out of a Hotel?
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
