come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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