Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Randomize
