Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
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