Where is the hickey?
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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