Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
3pm strippers are depressing
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
