afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
