i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
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