I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
