I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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